I know I have been MIA lately, but things have been really rough. It started early October when the depression kicked in. I couldn't tell you what started it, but I know I had a rough time dealing with this year being the 15 year anniversary of my Grandmother's death, and a hard time realizing that it has been that same 15 year span since I have seen or heard from my brother. Not to mention that now, I am looking as un-reliable to some people because packages haven't arrived that were sent over a month ago. I am at my wits end with the post office alone!! I feel like I need to sit down and cry for days. Paschen and I are constantly bickering, and then on Saturday she said that she thought it would be better if we lived apart for a while. We didn't solidify this decision, but it was kind of brought up. I am leaving for a week for work, so I think this will be a good "test" for us. At least it will give me an idea as to what the heck is going on here! After 3 years how can you just walk away??? I have no desire to, but I understand where she is coming from. The last month I have been horrible to live with. I don't sleep, I eat too little, and then too much, and I am just crabby as all get out! I am emotional, but I can't have a really good cry because I am too busy! I feel bad because the house is a mess because I haven't had the energy to clean. I have bills piling up and it just keeps weighing on me!! I need to sit down and scrapbook more and release some of this maddness, but everytime I try, I feel bad because the house is still a mess. I am unhappy, I don't get it, I don't understand what is wrong, I just know that I need to fix it because I can't keep doing this to myself. I am going to take this week away and treasure it, and use it to do everything that I need to do for me (except for the scrapbooking!). It gets better right?
xoxo
K
